


Joy

by darklioness82



Category: The Bletchley Circle, The Bletchley Circle: San Francisco (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 05:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16191416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklioness82/pseuds/darklioness82
Summary: Jean shows Hailey her romantic side





	Joy

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I'm in the UK so have (disappointingly) yet to see the second half of the series (episodes 5-8)

“What’s all this?” Millie asks her best friend as she walks through the front door and into the kitchen area of their shared flat. Iris takes off her coat and lays it over the back of the sofa before she joins the other two women in the kitchenette.  

 

“A picnic.” Jean answers simply, turns her back to the other women and continues to pack the already half-full basket. She’s worked most of the morning to put on this much of a spread; out early to buy some fresh bread and sliced meat for sandwiches, fresh fruit and she even found time to make some butterfly cakes. Not wanting to leave her best friend out, she's left a few cakes on the side for later as well. It’s then that Millie notices Jean’s wearing a rather nice blouse that she doesn't recall seeing before. 

 

“Is that new?” She remarks as she indicates the top, hoping to prompt some sort of explanation from Jean as she’s beginning to wonder just what is going on. Jean’s been wearing the same clothes for as long as they’ve known each other. Granted there were a few new items that she’d procured ahead of their trip to San Francisco, but nothing as nice as this blouse. Besides, they’ve been here long enough now that the clothes in her wardrobe have all been rotated, several times over. 

 

“Yes, as it happens.” The blouse is rather more Millie’s style than it is Jean’s; it’s dark mauve with a floral pattern throughout and has slightly open v-neck collar with short, capped sleeves. Jean knows full well what Millie’s getting at but she needs to play it down, at least for a while longer. 

 

“What's the occasion?” Millie’s curious as to what might have prompted Jean to tart herself up in this way. 

 

“Nothing special, I just felt like a change from my usual attire.” Their conversation is slightly stilted and has an undercurrent of tension about it but Iris doesn’t seem to have picked up on anything unusual.    

 

“Hmm...” Millie says doubtfully, clearly having none of it, but Jean refuses to give her any evidence to the contrary. “So, who’s the picnic for?” Of course, like the sleuthing code-breaker she is, Millie tries a different way of wheedling the information out of her friend.  

 

“Hailey. I was going to stop by and take her some lunch. I know she’s been rushed off her feet these last couple of weeks.” Jean knows from experience that the best kept secrets are those that are hidden in plain sight and so far she and Hailey have managed to do a good job of it. They’re taking it slowly of course, navigating their way through their clandestine courtship as best they can. 

 

”That’s a lovely idea Jean.” Iris agrees without any further thought about it but Millie looks at the older woman strangely. Jean knows that she and Hailey can’t fool them forever, they’re both codebreakers after all and Millie is like a dog with a bone when she gets an idea in her head, but for now she's bought them some time.

 

***

 

“Hay-bale, visitor for you!” The youngish chap hollars into the garage as Jean gives him a slightly awkward smile. It’s the first time she’s turned up in the middle of the working day, unannounced, at Hailey’s workplace. They’ve always carefully arranged their rendezvous ahead of time. Hailey emerges from somewhere around the back of the workshop, hair held back by a knotted scarf and smudges of grease about her face and up her arms despite the overalls she’s wearing. Jean’s heart skips a beat and thinks it’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen. The younger woman distractedly wipes her hands down on a turps soaked cloth but then catches Jean’s eye as she looks up. She has to fight to keep the smile from lighting up her face but Jean’s seen her reaction and her heart swells yet again with the knowledge that she’s the reason for Hailey’s delight. 

 

“Hey.” Hailey greets her as neutrally as she can but Jean can hear the excitement in her voice.  

 

“Hello. I’ve brought by a spot of lunch…” Jean holds up the picnic basket to confirm her ruse and then looks back at Hailey’s boss. “If that’s okay?” The chap holds his hands up in a gesture of surrender, not at all knowing who Jean is but recognising a woman of authority when he sees one and someone he probably ought not to get on the wrong side of. 

 

“You’ve got an hour and you can’t leave tonight until Mrs Bernstein's car is fixed.” It’s an idle threat, Hailey is one of the most thorough and yet fastest mechanics he’s ever had working for him. He knows that the car will be ready in good time whatever else Hailey has planned for the day. 

 

“Thanks Jack, I owe you one!” Hailey looks shyly at Jean, suddenly embarrassed by the state of her appearance, “I’ll just go get washed up.” Jean nods and smiles kindly, it wouldn’t bother her either way but she appreciates the effort. A couple of minutes later and Hailey is back, hair fixed, overalls off and a clean, beaming face. 

 

“So, where are we off to?” Hailey asks as they fall into step together. 

 

“I thought the park just up the road?” It’s early Spring where the weather is nice enough to picnic in but not too nice that the park will be full of people. It should afford them a small amount of privacy in an otherwise public space. They take their time walking up the hilly street towards the park. Hailey takes the basket from her lover and offers her arm out for her to lean on, which Jean takes gratefully. She mostly walks without her stick these days but she still needs extra support on occasion. Jean briefly wonders if Hailey’s noticed her new blouse, then chastises herself for the thought, she should be beyond that sort of thing at this point in her life. 

 

Hailey deposits the basket on the ground and looks around them, the view looking down on the city from the hilltop park is lovely on this clear Spring day. Luckily there is a row of trees behind their picnic spot, protecting them from the prying eyes of passers by. Jean takes up the blanket from the top of the basket and Hailey jumps to action taking one end and holding it out before they jointly lower it to the ground. Jean sets out the things she's packed in the basket and tasks Hailey with decanting the flask of tea into two enamel mugs. The younger woman plonks herself in the middle of the blanket, sits with her legs crossed (since she's wearing trousers) and she takes a few moments to sit and relax, relishing in this romantic side to Jean. Jean sits herself gently on the blanket facing Hailey with her legs kicked out beside her to the left. It’s more comfortable for her injured leg that way, plus she can lean closer into Hailey’s space a bit more too. 

 

“I hope I haven’t put you in a tight spot with your boss, I know you’ve been busy lately?” Jean asks as she reaches for the parcel of sandwiches. She wistfully longs for some hot English mustard or horseradish to go with the beef but she's had to do with the terribly mild American stuff instead. She's paid attention to what Hailey has consumed in her presence and beef appears to be her meat of choice. She offers the sandwiches out to Hailey first and her lover selects one half before Jean takes the other half for herself. 

 

“Oh no, don’t worry about Jack he’s harmless. He also knows what a damn good mechanic I am…” Hailey says around a mouthful of sandwich. She's damn hungry and loathe if she's going to wait out of some sense of decorum. At Jean’s chuckle Hailey realises that she's being boastful and swallows down her food. “Besides, it’s not as though my girlfriend turns up at work to whisk me away for lunch everyday.” Hailey grins widely at the use of the term ‘girlfriend.’ She doesn't know if that's the right thing to call Jean, if it works the same way for them as it does straights, but she likes it. Lover sounds sordid and although their sort of relationship is technically illicit, they're not harming anyone else. Jean’s face falls a little and she wonders for half a second if Hailey’s been indiscreet about their courtship. 

 

“He doesn’t  _ know _ , does he?” At Jean’s concerned tone Hailey realises that she’s said the wrong thing. 

 

“Of course not! I just meant… oh Jean, you know I wouldn’t do that to you, to us?”  

 

“I do, I’m sorry. I’m just being paranoid.” Hailey reaches out and entwines her fingers with Jean's to reassure her. 

 

“I know we can't be like other couples but this is enough for me, knowing that we both feel the same.” Jean brings Hailey’s hand up to her lips and presses a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “Although, I wish you could take me to bed more often,” Hailey says with a glint in her eye. 

 

“Hailey!” Jean blushes at the suggestive comment, even though she agrees with her lover. They've not had many opportunities to be alone together in the way that they need, although, the few occasions they have managed it have been incredible. 

 

“Well it's true.” Hailey is as serious and committed to their relationship as she is forthright in her words and actions and it's one of the things about her that Jean fell in love with. But what Hailey is too shy to say right now is that, more than anything, she wants to wake up in Jean's arms every morning. Perhaps indulging themselves on Sundays, surfacing only for some breakfast when the need takes them. She wants to come home to Jean in the evenings after a long day at work, cook her a hearty meal and tell each other about their respective days as they eat it. It’s a romanticised pipedream really but Hailey doesn’t see why she can’t have the same sort of desires as everyone else. She finishes the last few bites of her sandwich as her mind wanders and Jean helps herself to the second one, leaving the final half for Hailey to pick up when she’s ready. 

 

“We  _ are _ going to have to tell Iris and Millie eventually.” Jean takes a bite of her sandwich. She’s been thinking about this a lot recently, especially as she already suspects that Millie knows something is going on. Hailey’s expression falters. On one hand she's been desperate to sing about her happiness from the rooftops, proud to have Jean on her arm and still not quite believing that her love has been miraculously reciprocated. But on the other hand, these last couple of months have been magical, wrapped up in their own little bubble of happiness, it's their secret world and she doesn't want to let anyone else in. More importantly, she's frightened that someone will take it away from them if they found out.  

“I guess so." After all the stuff with Edward, Hailey’s fairly sure that Millie will be fine with it but she also knows that the news isn't going to go down too well with Iris. Iris wants her to keep herself to herself, to live a lie for the sake of appearances. Of course Hailey knows that it's coming from a place of kindness, that Iris cares about her and has only her best interests at heart but Hailey knows that she couldn’t live half a life like that. Jean lifts her hand to Hailey’s chin and raises it from its despondent position. 

 

“It will be alright…  _ we'll _ be alright. But we need their support no matter how hard we have to fight for it.” Hailey nods, she does understand and she knows they have little choice. She looks about her furtively, checking that they’re still alone in the park, before pressing a quick but firm kiss to Jean's lips. 

 

“I love you. No matter how difficult it gets, you’re the best thing to have happened to me in a long time.” Hailey’s voice is deadly serious, not that Jean has any reason to doubt her but she certainly won’t now. Jean reaches for her and Hailey shuffles closer, their legs touching and shoulders bumping up against each other. Jean looks up at Hailey, into her eyes and responds in kind.

“I feel the same. I never expected this when I came here, my whole world has been turned upside down.” Sometimes Jean feels like the rug has been pulled from under her; her old life was something so rigid and routine, she was existing rather than living. This new version of herself seems so far removed from that person and yet, she’s still the same. Millie is still her best friend, she knows her better than anyone else in this world because they’ve been through so much together. But she has let Hailey in far deeper, dropped her guard so completely that she feels freer and lighter for it.   

 

“No regrets?” Jean sometimes wonders if Hailey can read her mind, she’d been so near the mark on more than one occasion. 

 

“Absolutely no regrets.” Jean can feel the weight of the moment bubbling up inside of her and knows it’s neither the time nor the place for it to spill out. “Come on, we’d better eat up and get you back to work.” Hailey takes a bite of her second half sandwich as Jean tidies away the empty paper parcel and opens out the one filled with cakes. The younger woman grins around the sandwich when she sees them and scoffs it so quickly that Jean wonders if she’ll suffer indigestion later. 

 

“When’s your interview for the bookstore?” Hailey asks just as she’s chewing down the remnants of the sandwich. Jean’s been needing to find a job for a while as the money she and Millie came with is rapidly running out, but it’s not been an easy task. Then she happened upon a large bookshop right in the city centre with a sign in the window advertising for staff. 

 

“Tomorrow afternoon.” Jean distracts herself as she cradles her tea cup in her hands and takes a sip, even though it’s lukewarm it’s still refreshing. 

 

“How d’ya feel?” 

 

“Fine. If they want me, they want me. If not, I’ll look for something else.” Jean downs the last of her tea and places the empty cup back on the blanket. 

 

“Jean....” Hailey gently has a dig at her girlfriend’s reserved Britishness. She knows that Jean must be nervous and has the fear of being rejected again at the back of her mind. Of course, Jean has told her all about her failed interview with the Foreign Office and how it prompted her to agree to travel out here with Millie all those months ago.  

 

“Honestly, it’s fine. Nothing’s ever really going to satisfy the itch leftover from Bletchley but I’ve accepted that’s my lot now. Besides, I’ve other things that keep my life interesting these days.” Jean smiles knowingly at her lover. 

 

“ _ Interesting _ huh?” Hailey teases. 

 

“And beautiful, and funny and intelligent…” Suddenly Hailey’s practically in Jean’s lap kissing her hard. Jean can’t help but kiss her back and for a few moments they don’t think about the possibility of anyone else being around or the consequences of being caught. Hailey runs her hand down the front of Jean’s blouse, slipping a couple of buttons undone as she does so. It’s far too tempting, especially as Jean has such an ample bosom. “Hailey!” Jean stops kissing the younger woman and exclaims. 

 

“Sorry, god I wish that we could…” Hailey’s breathing is laboured and Jean chuckles. 

 

“Me too dear, me too. All the time when I’m with you.” Jean wonders how she managed to wait as long as she did, she’s never been so taken with someone so quickly and as deeply as she feels for Hailey. However, for a number of reasons not least of all the age-gap, Jean felt she had to let her make the initial overtures. Jean’s not so reserved now, not behind closed doors anyway. 

 

“Is that… is that shirt new?” Jean grins and laughs delightedly. Hailey doesn’t quite understand what’s so funny but as long as Jean is happy then she grins back at her. 

 

“It is indeed Hailey. I was hoping you’d notice.” Hailey looks back down at Jean’s shirt, her chest heaving and the buttons showing more than anyone else ought to see. She bites her lip, the desire clearly evident in her eyes and on her face and Jean scrambles to make herself decent under her scrutiny. Hailey stops her with her own fingers and proceeds to do it for her and then brushes back Jean’s dishevelled hair with the palm of her hand. 

 

“We’ll tell Millie after your interview.” Hailey tells Jean firmly, her mind obviously having been made up over the course of their lunch.  

 

“Are you sure?” Jean is surprised but Hailey nods her head firmly in confirmation.  

 

“Uh huh. At least that way  _ when _ you get the job we can have our own little celebration at your place. Alone.” Hailey waggles her eyebrows suggestively and Jean smirks at her cheekiness, something equally flirty and suggestive on the tip of her tongue before she suddenly realises the time and her expression becomes serious. 

 

“I hate to put a dampener on things but we’ve got to be getting back.” Hailey agrees with a gentle nod and starts to help Jean tidy away their picnic things. The cakes are wrapped back up and given to Hailey for later as well as a couple of pieces of fruit. They part just before the entrance to the park so that their slightly emotional goodbye is done out of the way of prying eyes and with enough time for Hailey to compose herself before getting back to work. 

 

Jean stays behind for a few minutes, it gives her a chance to do the same and let the heaviness of having to hide this part of herself away creep back in. She has hope that it will get easier, with their friends on their side and perhaps a place to call their own somewhere down the line. For now her heart is full, her life no longer simply purposeful but she now feels a genuine sense of happiness and joy. 


End file.
